Dear Dell,

Today I pay my account in full.

Today I say adieu after our three years together.

Before I leave, I would like to impart a few kind words. A benediction of life, if you will.

My dearest Dell, I would like to say “thanks” in advance for allowing me to never purchase a Dell product again. I thank you for the crummy Dell Financial Services customer service I received from the non-native English-speaking customer representatives who had accents so thick that I couldn’t understand anything they said.

I thank you for the 39-dollar fee you charged me for paying my payment on the day that it was due. I thank you for not mentioning on my statement that I must actually pay my bill the day before it’s due to avoid this fee. I know, I know…the fees are because of CheckFree and the way they operate. I understand it is not your fault, but I thank you for not mentioning all this on my statement.

I thank you for closing my account as requested. I received the confirmation by e-mail almost immediately. I will keep my printed copy of this as not only proof of the account closure, but also as a memento of our time together.

I thank you in advance for not allowing me to open another account with your crappy company ever again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not switching to Apple. I hate the whole Apple mythos. I do want to say that because of this instance, I am happy to never be a Dell customer, or Dell supporter, again. From now on, I will save my money and buy a Toshiba, or Sony, or something from the—half the price of Dell for the same item—ibuypower.com.

I am a little down-hearted about our parting. I tried to support Dell, even when others put you down. I showed my friends my awesome Dell Mini 10. I bragged about my XPS. I said good words about my kids Inspiron. But after this crap with the customer service and the sneaky way I was charged a late fee on the day my payment was due, I have to reiterate that I am done with Dell. I am hurt that it all ends this way and that I am now lashing out by telling everyone how much I cannot stand your company.

It’s not that I want to be this way, but sometimes my mouth just can’t contain what my mind thinks. As you know, word of mouth is awesome. Whereas I used to sway people your way—I got two of my friends to buy minis—I now chase people away with a big, brambly stick. My parents are one of these. No, they never bought a mini, but they were in the market for a new PC—as was I since my XPS is a couple of years old now—but now I will take us all somewhere else. My sister just paid cash for a new netbook a couple of days ago, but it wasn’t a Dell. Nope, I talked her out of it. I told her I really liked mine, but then I explained to her how much better the Toshiba was. Can you believe she actually paid 80 dollars more for the Toshiba than she would have for the Dell? Wow.

Oh well, thanks for the memories,

Phil

Oh! p.s., as an aside, I want to thank you for not putting my account number anywhere on my account page on your website. It’s great that I have to dig up an old paper copy, or wait for the PDF of my statement to download to retrieve my account number. I have a feeling you might say that you don’t display my account number because of security reasons, but I ask, why then can I select any of my electronic statements from my account page and there in the PDF is my account number? Why do you bury it so? Why must I progress through a six-step click process to find information that Dell requests on everything I fill-out or submit on your site? I don’t know the answer to this, but it sure adds to frustration.

*****

Dear Mr. McClellin,

Thank you for contacting us about your account.

Our sincere apologies for any difficulties you may have encountered during your interactions with DFS. While we realize that only our future service opportunities can restore your confidence in us completely, we want to assure you that your experience was unusual.  We strive to provide our customers with friendly and efficient service, and hope that any future service opportunities result in your complete satisfaction.

Please accept this email as confirmation that we have waived a late fee of $39.00 as a one-time courtesy. The credit will be reflected on your next regular statement.

Please let us know if you have any additional questions or concerns about the Dell Preferred Account. Agents are available Monday – Friday, 7:00 AM – 8:00 PM CT, at (800) 283-2210. You may also contact us online at www.dell.com/dfs.

Thank you for your continued business.

Sincerely,

Gaylord

Dell Financial Services

Customer Care Department

*****

Dear Dell,

Sigh.

Sincerely,

Phil

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